Do What You Can Live With: A Survival Guide for Families Navigating Addiction, Grief and Impossible Choices
What if the secret to surviving addiction isn’t tougher love, but braver love?
As a critical care Nurse Practitioner, Brandi thought she understood addiction. When her daughter began struggling with IV fentanyl use, she followed every rule the experts gave her: tough love, consequences, cutting off contact. She watched her family fracture under the weight of approaches that felt wrong in her heart but were endorsed by everyone around her.
The breaking point came on a March morning in 2023. After another brutal night shift, Brandi walked into her house and felt an overwhelming compulsion to shave her head. As her hair fell to the floor, so did years of pain, guilt, and rules that weren’t working. That moment of surrender led her to a simple but revolutionary question: What can I live with if tomorrow brings the worst possible call?
This book is about finding peace in the chaos and learning to love someone through active addiction without losing yourself in the process.
Through raw honesty and hard-won wisdom, Brandi shares how she learned to show up for her daughter in ways that honored both love and boundaries. Her daughter has been sober for over a year not because Brandi followed a formula, but because she finally learned to trust her instincts and do what she could live with.
You’ll discover:
- The Last Call Lens: a framework for decisions you can live with
- How to maintain connection without enabling destruction
- The difference between boundaries that protect and boundaries that punish
- How to find moments of peace even when nothing is resolved
- Why showing love, compassion, and empathy has never actually harmed anyone
This isn’t about fixing your loved one or finding the perfect program. It’s about finding your way back to yourself while keeping your heart open. It’s about choosing connection over control, presence over perfection, and hope over despair.
Because while love may not cure addiction, when has showing love, compassion, and empathy ever really done harm?
Perfect for families who:
- Feel like they’re drowning in conflicting advice
- Are exhausted by approaches that don’t feel right
- Want to love their person without destroying themselves
- Are ready to trust their own hearts alongside expert guidance
- Believe there has to be a different way forward
The moment I stopped trying to save her and started just loving her, everything changed.
What if the secret to surviving addiction isn’t tougher love, but braver love?
As a critical care Nurse Practitioner, Brandi thought she understood addiction. When her daughter began struggling with IV fentanyl use, she followed every rule the experts gave her: tough love, consequences, cutting off contact. She watched her family fracture under the weight of approaches that felt wrong in her heart but were endorsed by everyone around her.
The breaking point came on a March morning in 2023. After another brutal night shift, Brandi walked into her house and felt an overwhelming compulsion to shave her head. As her hair fell to the floor, so did years of pain, guilt, and rules that weren’t working. That moment of surrender led her to a simple but revolutionary question: What can I live with if tomorrow brings the worst possible call?
This book is about finding peace in the chaos and learning to love someone through active addiction without losing yourself in the process.
Through raw honesty and hard-won wisdom, Brandi shares how she learned to show up for her daughter in ways that honored both love and boundaries. Her daughter has been sober for over a year not because Brandi followed a formula, but because she finally learned to trust her instincts and do what she could live with.
You’ll discover:
- The Last Call Lens: a framework for decisions you can live with
- How to maintain connection without enabling destruction
- The difference between boundaries that protect and boundaries that punish
- How to find moments of peace even when nothing is resolved
- Why showing love, compassion, and empathy has never actually harmed anyone
This isn’t about fixing your loved one or finding the perfect program. It’s about finding your way back to yourself while keeping your heart open. It’s about choosing connection over control, presence over perfection, and hope over despair.
Because while love may not cure addiction, when has showing love, compassion, and empathy ever really done harm?
Perfect for families who:
- Feel like they’re drowning in conflicting advice
- Are exhausted by approaches that don’t feel right
- Want to love their person without destroying themselves
- Are ready to trust their own hearts alongside expert guidance
- Believe there has to be a different way forward
The moment I stopped trying to save her and started just loving her, everything changed.
What if the secret to surviving addiction isn’t tougher love, but braver love?
As a critical care Nurse Practitioner, Brandi thought she understood addiction. When her daughter began struggling with IV fentanyl use, she followed every rule the experts gave her: tough love, consequences, cutting off contact. She watched her family fracture under the weight of approaches that felt wrong in her heart but were endorsed by everyone around her.
The breaking point came on a March morning in 2023. After another brutal night shift, Brandi walked into her house and felt an overwhelming compulsion to shave her head. As her hair fell to the floor, so did years of pain, guilt, and rules that weren’t working. That moment of surrender led her to a simple but revolutionary question: What can I live with if tomorrow brings the worst possible call?
This book is about finding peace in the chaos and learning to love someone through active addiction without losing yourself in the process.
Through raw honesty and hard-won wisdom, Brandi shares how she learned to show up for her daughter in ways that honored both love and boundaries. Her daughter has been sober for over a year not because Brandi followed a formula, but because she finally learned to trust her instincts and do what she could live with.
You’ll discover:
- The Last Call Lens: a framework for decisions you can live with
- How to maintain connection without enabling destruction
- The difference between boundaries that protect and boundaries that punish
- How to find moments of peace even when nothing is resolved
- Why showing love, compassion, and empathy has never actually harmed anyone
This isn’t about fixing your loved one or finding the perfect program. It’s about finding your way back to yourself while keeping your heart open. It’s about choosing connection over control, presence over perfection, and hope over despair.
Because while love may not cure addiction, when has showing love, compassion, and empathy ever really done harm?
Perfect for families who:
- Feel like they’re drowning in conflicting advice
- Are exhausted by approaches that don’t feel right
- Want to love their person without destroying themselves
- Are ready to trust their own hearts alongside expert guidance
- Believe there has to be a different way forward
The moment I stopped trying to save her and started just loving her, everything changed.