This was one of the first videos I ever recorded back in 2020, when I was still following all the mainstream advice about addiction: “Don’t enable.” “Cut them off.” “They have to hit bottom.”
In this video, I talk about how I canceled my daughter’s phone, kicked her out, and refused to help because I thought that was the only way to save her. My tone is blunt. Almost cold. I believed what I was doing was right. That it was loving. That it was necessary.
And in some ways, parts of that message still hold truth: people will find a way to use if they’re not ready to stop. But this video also reflects something deeper…my own fear. My own desperation. My own unhealed understanding of addiction.
I’m not proud of this moment. But I’m not hiding it either.
Because this is where my journey began. And to understand how far I’ve come you have to see where I started.
Tough love is what we are taught and it didn’t work for my daughter. This was the start of me sharing a different view and mindset.
"How are we supposed to follow 'tough love' when every instinct as a mother tells us not to abandon our child?"
Tough love is often pushed on families navigating addiction especially moms without regard for the trauma, guilt, and heartbreak it causes. But what if turning your back isn’t the only option? What if there's another way to support your loved one without losing yourself?
This is a raw, personal reflection on how the tough love model failed her family, and why she chose connection, boundaries, and harm reduction instead. This video is for any parent struggling to survive the chaos of a child's addiction while still showing up with love, clarity, and compassion.
Oh did I battle depression on and off over the last 6 years. Sometimes you come out of it. Sometimes you need an antidepressant to help and that okay.
This was right after she came home and got sober this last time. As you can tell from older videos I am at peace, and truly free by just doing what I could live with.
In this video, I explain the foundation of my Do What You Can Live With philosophy a deeply personal framework that asks one question:
If you got the call tomorrow that your loved one had died… what would you regret?
This isn’t about guilt. It’s not about blame. It’s about clarity.
I recorded this in response to a mother who proudly claimed her son got sober because she cut him off. And while that may be true for her story, for many of us, that same approach can lead to the deepest regret of our lives.
Tough love tells you to detach and let go, no matter what.
Do What You Can Live With asks you to lead with love but also with boundaries, with honesty, and with the awareness that you’ll have to live with whatever comes next.
This is for every parent, partner, or sibling who’s been told there’s only one “right” way.
You deserve a framework rooted in humanity, not fear.
And if you’re still unsure?
Ask yourself the question that changed everything for me:
If the worst happened tomorrow… what decision would you be able to live with?
A fun video about enabling life. Meeting basic human needs isn’t enabling. Showing love isn’t enabling.
Tough love is can be used by some programs as a way to isolate families and keep them detached. I understand sometimes how I come across in videos isn’t for everyone, but I am just blunt. Just know my heart is 99% in the right the place.
Meeting them where they are doesn’t mean you tolerate abuse. It doesn’t mean you move them in. You create a boundary that protects you and you learn ways to show love that work for you and your family.
This video still makes me sad, because I remember how much hope I had after talking to her. It was the next day on Christmas night that I learned she walked out of treatment. I was getting ready to sit down for dinner and the rehab called and shattered my world once again.
Getting ready to sit down for xmas dinner, and the rehab called with her on speaker yelling…they were trying to stop her from leaving but she had made her decision. She was in another state, and this started a pattern of several Christmas relapses.
When you’re stepping in as a caregiver…especially a grandparent. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by anger, frustration, and guilt. You love your grandchild deeply, but the weight of raising them while watching your own child spiral? It’s a kind of heartbreak most people can’t understand.
Brandi speaks honestly about the emotional, financial, and psychological toll of raising grandchildren because of addiction and why it’s normal to feel resentment, exhaustion, and even rage. You’re not a bad person for having those feelings. You’re human. And those emotions need somewhere to go, not more shame.
This video features a powerful news segment sharing one person’s real-life experience of being caught in the Florida Shuffle. A corrupt cycle of body brokering that preys on people in active addiction for profit.
If you’re new to this term, here’s what it means:
📍 Body brokering is when treatment centers or recruiters get paid to send patients with good insurance into rehab, often repeatedly, with little regard for actual healing.
📍 These brokers often offer flights, cash, drugs, or hotel stays to lure people in, and relapse becomes part of the business model.
📍 Florida became ground zero, but this is happening across the country.
Why this video matters:
Families deserve to know the truth about the addiction treatment industry because what looks like help can sometimes do more harm than good.
Watch this clip. Share it. And start asking harder questions before trusting any facility with your loved one’s life.
